I Never Met A Head Of Cauliflower

I never met a head of cauliflower that I didn’t like.

Or broccoli.

Though the other day I bit into a clump of slightly steamed broccoli

that must have been having a really bad day.

The flavor more closely resembled sewer water,

though I admit that FORTUNATELY I’ve never tasted sewer water,

but still,

I just carefully laid it back to the plate.

I kept my eyes averted, in the best interest of not causing

the broccoli to have hurt feelings of rejection.

Since cauliflower and broccoli and I all seem to be best friends,

BEST FRIENDS FOREVER

it’s not unusual for me to peruse the produce department looking

for their overlooked and forlorn counterparts…

because who wouldn’t want to meet a new vegetable.

 

A couple of days ago from the kitchen I heard,

“Mom, what’s this thing on the counter?”

Making the assumption he meant THAT thing

and

not some OTHER thing,

in my very best southern drawl, I hollered back,

“Oh that thing is a Juuuuhh cAme uuuh.”

“Oh yeah,” he said, “you mean a…

and the sound that slid across his lips

more closely resembled a polite banging of a stainless

steel pan against the sink  with just a hint of Spanish accent

mixed in…

It’s still lost to me how he knew to pronounce it without knowing

what it was,

but I’m TOTALLY ok with that.

Maybe he just wanted to hear my southern drawl.

‘Yeah, whatever.” I said.  “I just thought it would be

neat to see what it tasted like.”

At a $1.48 EACH who could pass up the chance to meet

a new neighbor to cauliflower and broccoli.

And as an extra super plus +++++ the little cardboard sign,

(attached to the market basket that housed all this “nutritiousness”)

stated:

Jicama mild apple/pear like flavor

I thought buying one would be a great way to satisfy my curiosity.

So there it sat on the counter

patiently waiting for observation, discussion

AND tasting.

At first Tiffany confused it for a VERY large onion.

But bless its little $1.48 heart…

I think the produce person must never tasted an apple/pear flavor

OR

maybe he was just putting a positive spin on the descriptive card

in an attempt to clear out the vegetable bin.

A hack-saw may or may not have cut through the tough outer skin

better than my slightly dull paring knife.

I didn’t have a hack-saw so I’m not really sure about that.

About the time that the root end was severed, I began to smell a  faint

hint of a flavor I remember from my childhood.

~~turnips and horseradish, mildly flavored as such~~~

Nothing made me think of apples OR pears.

It had a woody rooty  somewhat crunchy texture.

It wasn’t the kind of crunchy that pulls you in and compels you to keep on crunching,

but it was the kind of crunchy made necessary because the vegetable wasn’t mushy.

After slicing it, I noticed that Tiffany had put a piece on her plate.

“It’s sorta like a turnip.” she said.

I’m sure once we get to know it better we will be BFF with the

Juuuuhhh cAme uuuhhh too.

Because I never met a head of cauliflower that I didn’t like.