Thank Goodness For A Baby

baby-hand-touching-ornament

Philip said I almost died.

All I know is that I was sicker-more-sick-as-sick-as-I’ve-ever-been-sick.

Saturday before Easter I was admitted to the hospital and spent a few days on IV antibiotics and had a miriad of tests run.  It’s taken a long time to recover.  Hhhhmmmm, have I recovered?? 

This year has been difficult, but I’m just like you…

…you and I don’t want people to see our pain or our struggles or our heartache, so we hide it.  Because we’re empathetic.  And when we see someone hurting or struggling, we emotionally put ourselves in their shoes and quickly realize that their situation is WAY worse than what we’re dealing with and so we don’t give our feelings adequate recognition.

You do that too. Don’t you? I know.  I can see it in you.

Then that becomes an unhealthy weight, an unhealthy weight of refusal to acknowledge pain and struggle and heartache. And then you  just stay stuck right in the murk of helplessness because if your problem isn’t as bad as theirs, then everything must surely be ok.

And so as my numbers dropped lower and lower and lower and as the doctors continued to try to figure out what was happening with my body, there I lay, not knowing where this was leading.

The nurse practitioner walked in and wrote Happy Easter! on the marker board with a black marker…there I was helpless, in the care of amazing nurses…the first time since 1991 that I hadn’t had Easter eggs to hunt, for our kids and others. 

I wish I could say I felt peaceful.  But I honestly can’t say that I did. I wish I could say that I felt surrounded by prayer, but I didn’t. Even though I knew people were praying for me and even though I knew PEACE was present.

I don’t like being this honest and raw…because I was SUPPOSED to feel PEACE. I was supposed to feel prayers…at least that’s what I thought.

Honesty is painful.  Isn’t it?

And I wondered, have I lived my BEST life? Oh yeah, I’ve tried to do good. And always do the right thing and be honest and be kind. I accept Christ’s redemption for my sins. But I wondered if anything I’ve done has been worthwhile in God’s eyes? I wondered if my life ended soon, had it mattered?  Would I hear, ” Well done!”? I wondered if I had really laid aside every weight  to run the marathon of life with endurance.

Have I let a lot of GOOD crowd out the BEST?

I’ve done  a lot of soul searching as I’ve gone through my days. I’ve been “laying aside weight”…things that may be hindering my focus…I’ve been laying aside good things…and that has been painful too.  And I don’t like to admit that either.  But I want my life to be effective.  I want others to see a bright LIGHT shining…not one with the murky glow of good…just good enough.

This year I’ve learned many things and I know you have too.

I’ll leave you with three thoughts I’ve had.

  1.  In life, the wonderful experiences and joy can get all mixed up and stirred around in the difficult and tragic experiences. And you just can’t separate it, so look for the joy and the God sightings each day.
  2. Every day, every experience matters.  Life is a marathon.  Lay aside every weight (even the good ones) to run with patience and endurance for your BEST life.

     3.  Thank goodness for a Baby, that came to earth and was laid right   down in the middle of all our mixed up joy and sorrow.  And HE brought PEACE.  I know HE brought PEACE even though I don’t always feel it…that’s what FAITH is.

So what are your thoughts…your struggles…the weights you are laying aside?

   If you could see me now…it doesn’t look like I’ve laid aside every weight…in fact it looks a little messy and chaotic..

…but thank goodness for A BABY!! 

 

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Y’all are my tribe…my people.  Thank you so much for your kind words and the times you share these posts and encourage your friends to subscribe.  I appreciate your confidence more than I know how to express.

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22 thoughts on “Thank Goodness For A Baby”

  1. Thank God for that Baby who does bring peace in the difficult. And thank you for sharing this beautiful reminder. I am very grateful that it was in God’s plan to let you stay here! Your light shines brightly to anyone around you! Love you so much!

  2. Oh you DO so have a way with words and God has sent you such a special gift of seeing straight through to the heart of the matter! Keep writing! For those of us that need to read these words. Love you so dearly!!

  3. WOW ! I agree with what both Esther and Naomi said.
    God has so bless you with insight and the ability to open the door of what He has for us if we accept that tiny baby into out lives.
    I too am thankful He let you stay here with us.

  4. Thankyou for your honesty. You are really gifted with writing. God has been showing me lately about thankfulness in everyday small things, as you wrote with encouragement to notice that. I’m blessed to know you.

  5. Rachel, Thank you so much for sharing this.
    I had no idea that you had been through this difficulty, but sounds as if
    God is using it (as he does everything) to help us learn.
    Wonderful reminder.
    You are blessed with insight and a beautiful spirit .
    Thanks for sharing!

    1. Jonna, thank you for your comment. I am so sorry for all your family has been through. I am trusting that 2019 will be one of renewal and joy for all of you.

  6. Thanks Rachel, This really touched me. I had no ideal what you had been through. Thanks for sharing! It’s been a rough year but HE is carrying us through it. I love your writing that you have been blessed with. I love you friend.

    1. Teri, I think of you so often and pray for you. I am sorry for the difficulties you have faced this year, but we can trust that better days are ahead. But I am glad that you have FAITH to give you strength each day. Thank you for your kind words. I love you too dear.

  7. Just saying…I love you and I’m thankful for you!! I’m sad that you went through all of that and I wasn’t there. Thankful that God brought you through.

    1. Kathy, how sweet of you to send kind words. I love you right back, more! Had you lived here, I know you would have helped me as so many others have said also. I honestly was to sick to let anyone know. But I am so thankful that God allowed me to have extra days. I don’t want to waste any of them.

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