An Oasis at Home: 10 Steps Toward Creating Emotional Stability

I don’t know a pretty way to say this, however,  there was a time I  dreaded to come home because an elderly individual began to encroach on our sacred place (our home) and our family became very insecure with his tactics and negative advances.

I’m just gonna gulp and blurt out that our home wasn’t an emotional oasis.

It was  absolutely out of balance emotionally…

which in actuality made it out of balance

physically, socially, and spiritually…

it ALL works together.

But that was SO LAST TUESDAY!!

We didn’t stay in that vulnerable state of emotions,

however, it took months to find a solution.

Still our hearts were ripped and cracked.

But we chose to let light shine through the cracks

and grow stronger by mending the seam of the ripped parts.

I only share this to support the idea that

we need to work to create an emotional oasis in our homes.

I’m not naïve.

I realize that the emotions related to home

are so multifaceted,

like a stained glass window.

I wouldn’t pretend to have all the answers

to the depth of emotions,

our addictions to drugs and alcohol

and dodging the next abusive hit,

heartache of loss of relationships,

and loved ones,

and jobs,

and situations that simply don’t make sense.

I realize that all these pieces of life play into

our emotions about home…our oasis.

And if you are struggling

in addiction or abuse,

reach out ,

don’t stay there.

It may take months or years

or many many baby steps.

But there is hope.

Let light shine through those cracks and broken places.

Sometimes though, we are just stuck

stuck with life.

And we  have to keep striving for better because we know it is out there.

And sometimes we have to move beyond…

dare I say..

.our selfish desires…

and do the right things, do the hard and difficult things that it takes to move beyond where we are.

How do you answer these questions?

I dread to come home because______________.

I LOVE to come home because_______________.

No matter how you answered,

no matter the depths of your emotional despair, or joy,

here are 10  specific steps you can take toward emotional stability

and creating an emotional oasis in your home.

Disclaimer: The following steps are for those experiencing the typical emotional ups and downs related to life.  If you are experiencing abuse, addiction or suicidal thoughts, please seek professional help.

10 Steps Toward Emotional Stability

  1. Give your emotion a name. As best as you possible can, identify your emotion. Call it what it is:  immense joy, disinterest, anger, abuse, happy go lucky. Sometimes half the battle is won when we realize what is holding us back emotionally.
  2. Seek help. Begin to write your thoughts in a journal or find a person who will be confidential and tender with your thoughts and feelings and talk to them. Seek professional help if you need to, or find an organization geared toward helping those in your situation.
  3. Show up in your very own life. Don’t stand on the sidelines watching life go by as you marinate in your misery. But go ahead and do the hard messy business of going for the touchdown. Those who love you will be cheering you on.
  4. Give yourself time. Realize emotional growth and healing doesn’t happen overnight. Most touchdowns are gained yard by yard.
  5. Reach out to others in need.  Healing can come from helping others who need the compassion you can offer.
  6. Remove negativity.  It is amazing how removing negative images and conversation and thoughts improves your emotions. Interact with people whom you want to be like. Seek out positive experiences.  It feels like breathing fresh air.
  7. Get adequate rest.  Sometimes there is a fine line between emotional despair and a good night of sleep, or even a nap. Sleep is an extremely valuable commodity in our home…it is in short supply unfortunately. So attempt to get the rest you need.
  8. Eat healthy food as much as possible.  Research is showing the extreme need for a healthy diet as it relates our physical and emotional bodies.  Take baby steps toward just a fruit and veggie per day, if you struggle with eating things that don’t come from a box.
  9. Exercise.  Exercise, fresh air and sunshine raise the feel good chemicals in your brain.  If you hate to exercise, just walk around in your yard and look at the clouds or sweep your front steps.  Just take a tiny start.
  10. Quote and study scripture. If you are a Christ follower, (or even if you aren’t) it won’t take much more than a “New York minute” to realize the power behind this lifestyle practice of quoting and studying scripture.

So if I am being truthful, well, and I am…

when I fill in the blank I would say:

I dreaded to come home because

even though I felt joyful and happy, still,

I felt insecure, fearful and immense grief.

But like I said that was SO LAST TUESDAY…

I’m simply sharing the 10 steps that I took to bring emotional stability to our home.

So lift your head high…go lasso the moon for yourself and your family.  Take baby steps toward creating that emotional oasis and I’ll see you next time when we begin our discussion about

An Oasis at Home, Physically.

What do you do to create emotional stability in your home?

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